Free Book on Diversity Training

Just sign up for the newsletter on Celebrating Humanity Int. - UK and you will get the link to download your own FREE Diversity Training book. Transform Diverse Teams by Brian V Moore!



Your FREE Diversity Training Book

Obama leads the way in honouring diversity, at the White House. This time he is celebrating diwali with Hindu devotees.

Well done Mr President!

Making the World a little better - through Giving.

Give a little bit!






One of the most important principles of our Celebrating Humanity International team, is to give more than we receive.

This essentially means that we do, what we do best, for free for deserving organizations - or organizations that impact the lives of others.

On 2 October 2009, we will honor the giving of the Johannesburg Hospice by running a free team building program, for their staff.

If we all took some time to support the givers, and those who do not have, the World will be a much better place.

There are so many of us who sell our time for money - and passionately talk of "making a difference" in the World. Yet when there is free, unbooked and unpaid for time - do we all loook for ways to make a difference, at our own cost?

We do. And we will keep on doing so!

Here is a little about Hospice...

Enjoy,

Brian V Moore

The Hospice Concept:

Hospice is a concept of caring derived from medieval times, symbolizing a place where travelers, pilgrims and the sick, wounded or dying could find rest and comfort. The contemporary hospice offers a comprehensive program of care to patients and families facing a life threatening illness. Hospice is primarily a concept of care, not a specific place of care.

Hospice emphasizes palliative rather than curative treatment; quality rather than quantity of life."

Most Diversity Training Ineffective, Study Finds - washingtonpost.com

This article shows why traditional diversity training does not work.

That is why you need a Celebrating Humanity program.

Enjoy!

Brian


Most Diversity Training Ineffective, Study Finds - washingtonpost.com: "Most Diversity Training Ineffective, Study Finds
Sodexho employees Ana Camargos, left, Gatwiri Muthara, Jaya Bohlmann, Al Pagen and Kate Wester review the company's annual report in its Gaithersburg headquarters. Sodexho has appointed a vice president as its chief diversity officer and has made it a factor in executive pay.

Transforming Diverse Teams

Here is a great blog, by us, on Transforming Diverse Teams! Enjoy

Transforming Diverse Teams: "Save Money and Time, whilst building your teams - through Celebrating their wonderful diversities!

Even in tough times, the Dept. of Labour requires all companies to conduct diversity training. Yet these times require, more than ever, that companies build and motivate their teams. Celebrating Humanity ensures that you can do both!

The Consul General of the US Consulate, in Durban South Africa described our Celebrating Humanity programme as:- 'An unparalleled experience in cultural sensitization and team-building!'

Simply because you get both, at the same time - a Services Seta registered Workplace Diversity Training programme- and a stunning Team Build, that actually builds teams, respect, accountability and unity!"

Recent Sayings

My Recent Sayings (Please feel free to add your own)

Brian V Moore 1 9 2009

We have a choice to be condemners, confirmers or co-builders. The 1st is a destroyer, the 2nd seeks friendship by hiding truth through cowardice and the 3rd focuses on building from a platform of truth, openness and candid observation and contribution.

Most people run from the 1st and the 3rd, whilst finding comfort with the confirmers.

Seek out your co-builders, take the input and grow, phenomenally!

Brian V Moore - 30 8 2009 FB.

When we all stop classifying ourselves by colours, races, religions, nations, genders, languages and tribes and only see ourselves and others, as members of the human race, we will set ourselves and the World free of selfishness, prejudice and war. http://celebratinghumanity.ning.com

Brian V Moore - 30 8 2009 FB.

It is our simple faculties and skills, or our ability to find another way, that set us free from mediocrity - the ability to see, hear, feel and the skills to read, write, type, drive, to walk and to talk all open us up to incredible freedom. We have so much to be grateful for.

For team building, team conflict resolution and diversity training please contact us.

Managing a Diverse and Inclusive Organization

Here is a wonderful post that brings the importance of diversity management home, by a Canadian expert.

Best wishes

Brian Moore


Managing a Diverse and Inclusive Organization: "Managing a Diverse and Inclusive Organization

As our work expands we are finding that more often supervisors are asking for assistance in managing a workforce that is becoming increasingly diverse and inclusive. This edition discusses the changes managers are experiencing in the ever changing workforce and the next edition will talk about diversity initiatives which may benefit your organization.

Some managers within organizations expect that, as the diversity of the population changes, so too will the diversity of their workforce. They believe that if people within the various diverse communities are 'qualified', then they would be hired into the organization. They believe that change will happen naturally over time.

However, a diverse and inclusive organization does not happen by chance. It requires a commitment from senior management and a plan to identify and address any issues. Diversity and inclusion is a journey that must be deliberately begun, boldly led, and constantly nurtured. Organizations must also recognize that"

Brian V Moore

Brian V Moore, International Speaker and Facilitator Extraordinaire!

Brian V Moore, international speaker and facilitator, is the founder and MD of 20 year-old Mthimkhulu International.

He is a Zambian born South African , of Irish descent , brought up in Port Shepstone and adopted by a Zulu Tribe.

He speaks several languages fluently, especially Zulu. He currently greets in more than 60 other languages. He received a Community Builder Award from Archbishop Desmond Tutu for his contribution to bringing peace to the once troubled Dusi Canoe Marathon.

Brian is the key founder and creator of the Celebrating Humanity Programmes. His vision, focus and commitment toward Transformational Team Building has transformed lives across the board and instills a new sense of hope for all who attend his courses and presentations. Known traditionally as "Hadebe, Mthimkhulu or Bungane", in the Zulu community, he has lived an incredibly full South African life - and is filled with passion for Africa and its peoples.

He is the author of an e-book, titled, “Team Conflict Resolution Strategies”, which is currently used locally and internationally i.e. USA, UK, Australia and South Africa. He has a great depth of knowledge and experience in business, customer care, conflict resolution, communication, diversity, relationships, traditions and traditional proverbs.

Brian was recently the guest speaker and Chairman of the World Learning Summit in Hong Kong in February 2009. He was also the Business Sponsor and Speaker at the Annual Diversity Conference held in London.

He has spoken and facilitated change with thousands of people in Zambia, Namibia, Hong Kong, Rhode Island - USA, Connecticut - USA and across South Africa.

Brian’s storytelling, ability to involve his audiences and his tremendously human touch will delight, wow and entice multi-diverse audiences to see diversity at a much different and deeper level.

Brian is willing and able to travel anywhere in the World, to enchant your people! Experience the Moore Magic!

Diversity Collisons

Linked in Discussion

From Billy Vaughn, PhD

Editor-in-Chief Diversity Officer Magazine.com

What are three examples of cultural collisions in the workplace?

Studies show that cultural diversity leads to increased innovation, competitiveness, and impact on the bottom line. However, harnessing that diversity is the key. One of the challenges is that cultural collisions increase as cultural diversity increases. This is one reason that cultural sensitivity training is so popular. What are some common cultural collisions you have experienced, witnessed or heard about?

My response

Good day to you Billy!

Our experience is that there are many very visible cultural collisions. Yet the most dangerous are those that run below the level of consciousness. These emanate from deep programming and affect the decisions that we make in terms of who to work with, talk to, confide in and select.

The visible results of these decisions often emanate in cultural them and us collisions. You always choose "them", and never "us." (This is not always cultural - in fact it is often other areas of diversity - be they gender, personality, communication style, history, experience, level, education, age etc.)

It is at this point that all the normal signs show up - backstabbing, gossiping, negativity, clashes and arguing. It is then that personalities clash and work styles just seem so incompatible.

And this is where transformational team building plays a huge role in building diversity intelligence, as a component of emotional intelligence.

Brian Moore
b@africa-dreams.com

Diversity Training Video (Transformational Team Building Video)

This is one of the many inclusive, non threatening wasy that we open up communication and understanding in our Celebrating Humanity workshops.

The drawings are changed for the different groups, diversities and countries that we find ourselves in.

Enjoy!

Brian Moore

Diversity Training Video (Transformational Team Building Video)

Here is an a short video of a 3 day - plus 1 day follow-up team building/ diversity training/ team conflict resolution video for over 10 people - facilitated by Mthimkhulu International - the Team Building in South Africa specialists.

Enjoy,

Brian V Moore
082 552 3352

Team Conflict Resolution Interventions. Standing at a Crossroads.

Team Conflict Resolution Interventions.
Standing at a Crossroads.

Teams, businesses and organizations that are under pressure to transform their troubled teams, are often challenged by the wealth of “solutions” offered, by companies. Some of these solutions are great - and many are doomed to failure.

If your team is being forced to find a solution, your team is at a crossroads of danger and opportunity.

The danger lies in choosing the wrong “solution(s”) and yet, if you get your choice right, there are huge hidden opportunities to build individuals and teams, and thereby reap great rewards.

Self-defeating team conflict resolution programs will have strategies that:-
• try isolate to the “troublemakers”, and get them to resolve their differences.
• exclude any member/s of the team in the process.
• hand the management of the team’s behaviors, with agreements from “team agreed resolution”, to your managers/ supervisors.
• isolate, intimidate, or simply ignore certain team members.
• neglect the development of communication skills, team and individual personality skills, understanding of the carious diversities within the team.
• Go with a talk-down and divisive diversity training program.
• Use unsuitable and un-focused team building programs - that isolate even 1 member of your team..

If any of these factors form part of your attempts to resolve team conflict, the process, and your money, will be wasted. More so, it could negatively impact your team - in the long term..

The opportunity to build teams is found in the wisdom, uniqueness, talents and skills of your team. When we hire people, we hope that they are mature enough to manage their own behavior. After we sign the employment contracts, we then begin to control their every action. We put managers in charge of all decisions. Soon we have people who will not even go to the toilet without permission.

Our over-control has taken away their sense of value, ownership, accountability and responsibility. And this is where team conflict begins.

The methodologies included in Celebrating Humanity Diversity Training and Transformational team-building programs - outlined in our book - Team Conflict resolution Strategies - ensures that team transformation is non-threatening, unifying and inclusive. It ensures that we give the power back to your teams - to manage their own behavior - through their own agreements.

This takes incredible stress off managers and supervisors, and the business/organization. In turn, empowered people drive your business in a safe and respectful place created by themselves.

Our teams have been called in to resolve conflict when the psychologists, and conflict resolution specialists have been unsuccessful. The people that we meet are often disillusioned, angry and isolated. Management is stressed, backstabbing, gossiping and labor disputes are the order of the day. And all of this is after numerous “conflict resolution solutions.”

Our teams bring fun, communication, respect and understanding into the team - before we even look at developing team-based codes of conduct. And when we leave - we have put in place ongoing team-managed processes - supported by our follow-up processes. Our feed back is always taken at least a year after the initial program. And the results are always excellent - without fail!

Read the book - and use the lessons therein, or call in our teams. Whichever way your go - this will be the best decision you will ever make.

Brian Moore - Copyright. October 2008
www.celebrating-humanity-projects.com
info@africa-dreams.com
Mobile: +27 82 552 3352
Mobile: +27 82 774 5521

Why be stressed about diversity training - when you can Celebrate Humanity?

The answers to all problems, lie hidden deeply within mankind.

As a very fortunate human being, who has travelled amongst many diverse groups of people in the world, it always surprises me when people have challenges with "diversity training." I can see absolutely no reason to fear the skills, knowledge and perspective that other human beings bring.

Our own self built blocks to growth.

One of the biggest obstacles to growth, is our natural focus on building our "own identity." This begins the process of separation from people who are different to us.

I am a boy, I am a girl, I am American, I am African, I Portuguese, I am Chinese, I am white, I am black, I am Indian, I am Christian, I am Jewish, I am thin, I am fat, I am old and I am young.

All of these statements ensures a separation from others, as if they were not not your human equal. Because from here we can make statements like, "Why would I want to have anything to do with them - they are not even (add your "identity" here.) No, in fact they are (add their "identity: here)".

And unfortunately, the very same people who strongly identify themselves with their own personal, group, physical, National, colour, religious classifications, are those who invariably limit their experience of people and the world. Many of them will angrily speak out against "diversity training", as if it were a punishment and a mockery of who they are, as human beings. Why should I learn about THEM? Why don't They learn about US?"

And of course the people that they are asked to learn about, are never spoken of as being remotely human. They are spoken of in their classifications. These "whites". Those "Muslims". The "blacks". And a lot of really rude name tags. This always makes it easier to slip back into the comfort of our own personal identity.

Living in the question and in a state of "Wow!"

Those of us who have no limitations to who we associate with, learn from and understand, are so fortunate. We simply love the fact that, as small children do, we can live in "the question." Living in the question allows to spend most of our time asking questions and learning from others. It allows us to have our own little University of life and everyone that we meet, becomes a teacher. And we the students. "Why do you...?", "What does this mean...?", "How do you greet and ..."

This is the state of "wow!" And many children live there. This way of being puts us in the most delightful position of continuously building respect, understanding and wisdom.

Living in the answer - the dangers.

The opposite way of living in the question, is to live in "the answer." The biggest danger here is when one has an absolute impression of one's personal identity and the absolute knowledge that it brings. This is the state of "rightness." I am right and you are wrong. It is at this point that we limit ourselves.

And it is people in power, be they powerful in families, companies, teams or countries, who invariably bring aggression to their interactions. They deeply fear losing their power. And they hate the fact that the may be proven "wrong."They will fight to protect what is theirs. They will fight to keep the status quo. Because the have "the answer." They KNOW what is "right!"

We all add to each other.

When we get to the point of understanding how much we add to each other, we begin to tap into the incredible richness of humanity. The wealth of knowledge and wisdom that is encapsulated in the very difference that cause fear in some of us.

No-one wants to change others, nor take away their sense of personal identity. In fact that is your very unique human value. That is what ensures that YOU add to other people. Show it, share and enjoy it - and add to it with questions. Do not let it limit you. Or cause you to be a source of conflict.

Diversity training, or Celebrating Humanity.

Now Diversity Training has it's positives, however if incorrectly presented, it keeps on separating people as if they were of a different species. Almost as if we are curiosities - to be observed from a distance and "accepted."

This is not true. We are all human beings. We all have something unique to share, even if we are the "same." Yes, the answers to all problems lie hidden deeply within mankind.

And it is at this point where our programmes change the perspective ,from one of Diversity Training, to one of Celebrating Humanity. As Steven Covey says, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."

When we are celebrated, we can celebrate others. These unique programmes are developed to bring that safety and celebration to all of our delegates.Through these programmes, we remove team conflict and build families - through better life skills.

We deliver our particular brand of Team building in South Africa - anywhere in the world. We have worked in the USA, Zambia, South Africa and have Celebrated Humanity with 2500 miners in Namibia. And our principles are simple.

1. At the level of respect, all people are equal.
2. We all add to each other.
3. There is only one race, ad that is the Human race.
   
   

Our new Personal identity.

We are most unstable, when we continuously seek to confirm our stability and who we are. Conversley, we are most settled when we understand that we do not know everything, and that is OK. And we ensure our sense of well being and value, by continuously seeking understanding.

And that is why we should always spend time learning about others, and attending course similar to the Celebrating Humanity programme. And therein lies our own personal freedom and a new personal identity - as a member of the human race. And with our freedom comes the freedom of all human beings.

Yes, the answer to all problems, lie deeply hidden within all human beings.

Kind regards,


Brian Moore

Team Conflict Resolution: Simple, Effective Team Conflict Strategies that Really Work: For Teams, Office & Workplace

Here is a snippet from our latest site. I am writing a book, which will be published soon!

Enjoy,

Brian

Team Conflict Resolution: Simple, Effective Team Conflict Strategies that Really Work: For Teams, Office & Workplace: "How To Clear Stress & Conflict from Your Teams in 24 Hours!
These Fast, Effective and Simple Team Conflict Resolution Strategies Will Get Your Team Members Communicating, Supporting Each Other and Working Together - in the Long Term...

And You Can Use That Unity To Explode Sales And Get A Huge Advantage In Your Business...
... You Will See Results In As Little As 24 Hours... Without Mediation, Conflict Resolution, Therapists, Labour Lawyers or Psychologists,"

Protecting one's Turf - McDonnel's road

Conflict will often arise in the workplace, when we cross into team members "domains", the special little side-empires that they have built. Their "departments", or their offices. They live in fear that this space will be changed, by those around them.

They live in a small space, and suffer their pains alone. They believe that no-one else has felt their pain. And they feel the need t0 fight to protect their turf and keep their pain, as a reason to live.

I was on one of the Isles of Aran, off the West Coast of Ireland, yesterday - with my beautiful wife, Arthie.

We were taken on a tour of the island by a man, on his horse and carriage... His name was McDonnel and a very talkative man was he. He explained at length about his 100 year old carriage, where it came from, how it was made and how it was built with special wood. "Steamed it to bend it, they must have." he said - a number of times.

As we went along the beautiful, rock-walled roads, he began to discuss every aspect of the road, and how "they" could make it better.

As each vehicle, bicycle and person entered into his 5 mile "domain", he complained. They should not be on his road, they should move over...etc.

When a mini-bus needed to pass, he told us, "They shouldn't be here. It's not right. They are too big for the road." He almost shouted under his wind-burnt lips.

As he went he commisserated with Jimmie, his beautiful horse. And if Jimmie could talk, he would complain about the stopping, too. His head bounced high, after each stop - he too was on Jimmie's (McDonnels's) road.

Now I understood McDonnel, I could see how this was his whole world was wrapped into those short and beautiful 5 miles of road. I could understand why he repeated himself to me - because surely, I would never understand - I was not from McDonnel's road, or the Isles of Aran. McDonnel earns about 50 Euro per day (+-R600), for the one trip that he and Jimmie will make.

Poor McDonnel. Alone, in his perception, saddened by his circumstance, because all of his life was based in his little road. Alone by choice, and looking for somewhere or somebody to blame.

This is one of the many challenges that we face in the workplace and can be likened to departmentalism.

Enjoy,

Brian

McDonnels Road

Too often when we live in a small space, and we suffer our pains alone, we believe that no-one else has felt our pain.

I was recently on one of the Isles of Aran, off the West Coast of Ireland, yesterday - with my beautiful wife, Arthie. We were taken on a tour of the island by a man, on his horse and carriage... His name was McDonnel and a very talkative man was he.

As we went along the beautiful, rock-walled roads, he began to discuss every aspect of the road, and how "they" could make it better.As each vehicle, bicycle, person entered into his 5 mile "domain", he complained. They should not be on his road, they should move over...etc.

When a mini-bus needed to pass, he told us, "They shouldn't be here. It's not right. They are too big for the road." He almost shouted under his wind-burnt lips.

As he went he commiserated with Jimmie, his horse. And if Jimmie could talk, he would complain about the stopping, too. His head bounced high, after each stop - he too was on Jimmie's (McDonnels's) road.

Now I understood McDonnel, I could see how this was his whole world was wrapped into those short and beautiful 5 miles of road. I could understand why he repeated himself to me - because surely, I would never understand - I was not from McDonnel's road, or the Isles of Aran. McDonnel earns about 50 Euro per day (+-R600), for the one trip that he and Jimmie will make.Poor McDonnel.

Alone, in his perception, saddened by his circumstance, because all of his life was based in his little road। Alone by choice, and looking for somewhere or somebody to blame. Poor McDonnel.

Team Conflict Managment

Mthimkhulu International are the leading South African specialists, in team conflict managment.team conflict managment

We have just returned to Johannesburg from an incredible break and a wonderful teambuilding session, with Description C&S Audio - in Cape Town.

Cape Town - South Africa - is an incredible place and our teambuild was facilItated in the quaint Train Lodge conference centre. If you visit Cape town, this must be one of the most incredible places to stay. you can dine on a train coach and sleep in one of the stationery train coach rooms.

Our team of Arthie Moore, Suraj Haripersad and myself, were delighted to spend time with this incredible team. Lead by Donald and Liezl Clark - this extra-ordinary group of bright young people - really got into the teambuild - in a huge way! And we are truly grateful that they selected us, as their teambuilding provider!

Our team is incredibly professional and they know exactly what to do, and when. And their work was made far easier by our amazing client.

Here is the feedback from Liezl Clark of C&S Audio:-

Building your team
==================

As employers and business owners, we are all faced with the problem of motivating and building our teams. I would like to share our personal journey and experience with you.

As I write this the sound of the vuvuzela and our team’s new found slogan still resound in my ears…
Imphilo Enhle!! Yes, life is indeed beautiful.

The C&S team was transformed over the past weekend. From a diverse team divided down lines of race, language, religion, job title and background we have gone to a team of human beings with a common goal and new values founded in respect.

You may call this a miracle, but it is incredible what can be achieved when you work from a foundation of “at the level of respect all people are equal”.

Fellow BW Brian Moore and his wife Arthie of Mthimkhulu International took our team through an amazing rollercoaster of a weekend.
Not only did we learn more about ourselves, our other team members, the ways we learn and communicate and our different personalities but we had FUN!!

Never would I have imagined our team dancing the Macarena in unison on a cold Sunday morning on a converted train platform in Cape Town!

I would recommend Mthimkhulu International and this experience to all businesses and teams without hesitation.

Brian and his team were absolutely wonderful. They have a way of relating to people on the level they can understand and feel comfortable with and help you to stretch further than you ever imagined possible while still feeling safe and respected.

Under their guidance past issues were cleared and a way forward was mapped out.

This past weekend a new unified team was born.
Viva C&S Viva! Imphilo Enhle! Yes, Life is Beautiful!

(Impilo Enhle means beautiful life in IsiXhosa - the mother tongue of Nobel Laureates Nelson Mandela and Archbishop Desmond Tutu.)


International Teambuilding that works, and works and works
Teambuilding Projects

And whilst you are looking for info on Team conflict management - please visit our Teambuilding South Africa Blog!

A bean is revealed when you open its shell...

A bean is revealed when you open its shell. - Zulu proverb.

(First written in 2004 and very relevant now to the xenophobic incidents in Alexander and Diepsloot - Johannesburg, South Africa.)

We live in such a wonderful country. We have had an incredible past and that strange history has been used by many of us as a catalyst for personal change and growth. And sadly others still hark after the past, or operate as if nothing has changed!

And change it has! South Africa has gone from skunk nation status to a place of beauty and wonder. A place where all people can live their lives with self-respect and respect for others.

I can remember when it was difficult to move around the world with a South African passport. When people in love could not be married - by virtue of their colour or race. Where we were separated into groups, denied or benefited by virtue of our birth. When cars were driven across the beautiful highways of our nation at 70kms an hour because of fuel sanctions. (A trip from Johannesburg to the coast took up to 12 hours in holiday season!)

It was a time when we were so divided that we did not know how others lived. And we did not know or understand the realities of life for people who were not white.

I am delighted that Apartheid has all passed behind us. I am excited to be a part of this new country where we are an example to the world. I am happy to be a pioneer laying the groundwork, through affirmative action and employment equity, for the children of the new generations. Sometimes it is hard to be white and male in South Africa. But nowhere as hard as it was to be "non-white in Apartheid South Africa! Yes, we are the new “voortrekkers”, we are the “star fleet” boldly opening up new frontiers and horizons. And we are opening up our country to all of it’s peoples. What a legacy to build for future generations!

Arthie and I are delightfully and ecstatically married. In the old South Africa this would have been impossible! We would have been hunted down & exposed. Here is a piece from http://www.fact-index.com/i/im/immorality_act.html that shows just how far we have come.

"The Immorality Act was one of the most controversial legislative acts of South African Apartheid. It attempted to forbid intermixing of couples of different race both in the area of marriage as well as casual sex.

Mixed marriages and the immorality act became the first major pieces of apartheid legislation. In 1949 mixed marriages were banned in South Africa. In 1950 the act was followed up with a ban on sexual relations between blacks and whites.

One of the first people convicted of the immorality act was a Cape Dutch Reformed minister; he was caught having sex with a domestic worker in his garage. He was given a suspended sentence and the parishioners bulldozed the garage to the ground.

On the grounds of the Immorality Act, the police tracked down mixed couples suspected of being in relationships. Homes were invaded and doors were smashed down in the process. Mixed couples caught in bed were arrested. Underwear was used as forensic evidence in court. Most couples found guilty were sent to jail. Blacks were often given harsher sentences than whites.
In 1985 the Immorality Act and Prohibition of Mixed Marriages Act were both repealed."

The full extent of forgiveness in our country from 1990 until now will never be quantified. It has been hugely miraculous that we are where we are now.

Imagine my surprise when attending a recent birthday party for a 3 year old, when the other young parents banded together. And allowed a few of their group to make loud comments on Arthie and my relationship. "These mixed marriages are not on," said one. After a few more similar comments another stated. "At least the child came out o.k." Referring to our son Lliam who has a light Italian complexion.

Arthie has always maintained that we are indeed a mixed couple. "One boy and one girl. That is a good mix!", she says. And of course any couple comes from mixed backgrounds. They were raised differently by their respective parents, with different morals, in different homes and in different circumstances. And some times even when your complexion is similar it is hard to mix. Have you ever heard the one about "My mother-in-law...?"

Back to the kiddies party. We did not feel aggrieved. And we felt no hurt from the "injustice" of their words, we only felt the pain in their souls. These poor & misguided people were still living in a mind-view set by a law repealed nearly 20 years ago. Most of them were only 5 or 6 years old at that time! I wondered what their parents taught them & how they programme their own children.

Yes, we wish that one day they will find love and peace. And that they too can be human beings first and not live in judgement of the first thing that their eyes see.

Which leads me to a Zulu proverb. "Uhlubu’ dlube ‘khasini" Literally - "A bean is revealed when you open the shell." It is used when one is surprised by the wisdom, skills or talents of another, or when a person does something amazing that you do not expect. This is similar to the English proverb, "you can’t judge a book by its cover."

Somehow we were being judged by our ‘colours" and a muddled perception of a "perfect relationship". Just as others are daily judged, by people from all backgrounds, by their religion, race, language, favourite sport or soccer side, hair colour, heritage and education. And anything else that makes them different to the judges.

Arthie and I have the most beautiful relationship. With our marvellous uniquenesses we add to each other. We grow each other and complement each other. We are soul-mates. Ours is a match made in Heaven! Our multi-lingual 3 year old son Lliam is a stunning, loving, warm and intelligent child.

So before you judge us - take time to get past the shell. We may be three very beautiful beans! When our true selves are revealed you may find something special within. The multi-diverse people of South Africa are all incredibly unique beans in diverse shells. They are the reasons that we have such a marvelous country. They are what makes this such an exciting place to live in!

My greatest understanding is that people, who are different to you and I, add to us. They bring wonderful knowledge, wisdom, traditions and cultures. They bring new ideas and new views. And they only add to us when we open the shell, question, experience and delight in their uniqueness.

Let us step away from our simplistic programmed assessments and move into today. Right here, right now, with the human beans (beings) who make you and I human. As Arthie and I have discovered, there is so much freedom in being human first and anything else much later.

(May 2008 update - This story pales with the shocking and horrific incidents of xenophobia in Alexander and Diepsloot townships. And to a less visual extent in Government and the workplace. We all have a right to a life, a right to opportunity. Xenophobia is absolutely unacceptable and we ALL have to stand up to it, and to those who perpetrate and perpetuate violence and prejudice - in the name of their "people."

There is only one race and that is the human race!)

Brian V Moore©
Mthimkhulu International 24 May 2004

Leadership through the eyes of a child

What’s that Daddy?

(This story was originally written in 2002- and shows how we can learn from anyone. In particular, our children.)

Deep within each of us lies buried a child. A free spirit with the power to access all wisdom. With the potential to become anyone that we want to be.

Our 18 month old son Lliam has begun to dance in modern Western, Zulu and Hindu styles.

He was recently paid by tourists as he greeted them, with the Zulu dancers at Lesedi cultural resort!

He doesn’t know that there are styles of dance, or which one is which.

Lliam merely lives in the experience. He hears the music and dances according to the dancers around him. Each time he dances he gets better. His greatest assets are his lack of fear and his love of the experience. There is no self-esteem, pride or chosen “side” that can prevent him from learning something new.

I await with excitement the time when Lliam starts to ask questions. When he starts to ask “What’s that Daddy?” and “Why”. “Where, Who, When, How come?”, will all follow. For this is where we should all be.

You see little Lliam is lucky. He has no judgements to hide behind. He hasn’t formed an opinion on you, or me. He knows not of religion, race, colour, politics or borders. He loves everyone regardless of who they think they are...

Lliam learns better because he judges less. When he hears something he is not processing everything through his present knowledge. He simply lets it in.

If our ultimate aim in life was to be like Lliam, what benefits would that bring us?

Firstly, we could ask anyone any question that we choose. “Why do you wear a dot on your forehead?, “Why don’t you eat meat?”. “Is this the culture of all followers of your faith?”, What is your opinion of ......?”. We would have access to all the wisdom of the world!

Secondly, we would experience life at its very fullest. We would be able to dance when we wanted to, sing when the urge came to us and fully love who we are and who we are with.

There are many other advantages to being more childlike. Wars could be stopped through understanding. Racism would not exist because our unique humanness would be the basis for many of our questions. Leaders would learn from their people.

In the Zulu culture there is a saying, “Inkosi yinkosi ngabantu.” A King is only a King because of his people. In whatever way you lead, you are only that leader because of the people who you lead.

And - we are all leaders. The best leader is the one who asks questions, listens without judgment and thanks all contributors. This is the leader who has access to the wisdom of his community, team, family, friends and associates. When hearing something very different from current wisdom or personal wisdom, the response will be, “That is a very interesting way of looking at this challenge.”

The path to being more childlike, in our ways, starts the journey to our greatest freedom. I wish for you the openness of a child!

(May 2008 update - Now aged 7 - Lliam greets in 30+ languages and speaks easily to anyone.)

Brian Moore - Mthimkhulu Training© 2002. Durban - S. Africa. September 2002.
brian@africa-dreams.com
www.africa-dreams.com www.celebrate-humanity.co.za

Free Diversity Training Video